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Wednesday, 12 July 2017

PERHAPS

I wonder if you wonder why I hid behind the shelves
Perhaps just to see you smile,
When you slowly walk down the aisle;
Perhaps just to catch a glimpse,
When you look at those books that you skim;
Perhaps just to say hi,
Or perhaps just to say good bye;
But you know I could say neither...

Perhaps just to stare at your eyes,
Perhaps just to listen to your lies
Because even they seem much better than the truth now.

I wonder why I love you sometimes, I really do;
Perhaps because you laugh that laugh,
Perhaps because you smile that smile,
Or perhaps because I simply want you to be mine?

Perhaps because you asked me why,
Or perhaps I want to hear a lullaby
From you, with my head in your lap;
Or maybe yours in mine,
With our fingers entwined.

Perhaps I want to play with that tress,
Which is so naughty that it keeps falling over, making a mess;
I want to blow at it gently, watching it fly
Tuck it behind your ear,
Hoping it falls back down when I'm somewhere near.

Perhaps because when I close my eyes,
It's only your face that comes to the mind,
I look around, frantically, but I cannot find
You, nor any of your signs.

Perhaps I want to walk that walk,
And want to talk that talk,
Hear you out,
Or 'listen' as you sometimes say.

Perhaps because a day feels like months, 
Or because I want to smell your fragrance,
Exotic, exquisite and sweet;
It's a reason why I'd love to meet
You.

Perhaps because when you talk to that guy,
That's exactly the reason why
You hear me sigh.
Perhaps because I'm possessive,
Or maybe I just don't want to live... anymore.

I wonder what made me think the same about you,
Perhaps I saw it in your eyes,
Or perhaps I interpreted it from your smile;
It's sad to realize
That I was wrong all this while.

I wonder what you'll say when you know that I was crying,
For so long that I thought my lachrymal glands were drying,
Perhaps you'll think that I'm lying?
Or perhaps you'll just keep quiet and walk away,
Like how you always do.

Honestly, no, I'm not fine,
But, I...I keep lying,
Perhaps because I don't want you to know,
Or maybe because I remember what you said,
Word by word, line by line.

I wonder if you wonder why I messaged after all,
Perhaps because I want to read your gibberish
That you type when you are annoyed, at a loss for words;
Letting your fingers rule over the keyboard,
Bdoslskfjvosksldjv
I wish I was the only one who could decode.

Remember when we parted not so long ago
You walked beside the bus and watched me go
I craned my neck and turned and twisted
To catch a last glimpse, no opportunity wasted
You winked at me, to end on a good note
I kept smiling for days after that, you know...

Remember, on the same day, a little while ago
You were seated next to me in that bus, no?
I put my finger in your palm,
And curled your digits around mine, I meant no harm;
I wanted you to never leave, but you did;
I wanted you to stay, but you didn't;
I kept crying for days after that, you know...

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